Saturday's concert was quite a let down. I felt that surely, we played at a level way below what we were capable of. Despite this, the concert was a great one. I'm only slightly disappointed that it was not our best performance. It is now that I understand what it means to just stop at the point where things are best so that they can be kept in memory and not be spoilt when it is redone in a way not exceeding the beauty of the best time. So many aspects of my life can be reflected upon those words.
What will things turn up to be like tomorrow? I fear the approach of tomorrow. I have no goal to achieve and no direction to head towards. Everything I do is meaningless. I just eat, sleep and do as I am told. I am either disconnected with the world or just a tool to be used to make the lives of others easier. Other than that, there is nothing more to what I am.
I don't have much to say. Anyway, it will always be the same few people reading what I type in here. I wonder why I even bother posting all these on the web. Just to make myself more vulnerable?
I do not know what I want to be. I feel very confused. It would be my biggest failure to not be able to decide what I want to be and end up being nothing. I don't know if rethinking is good enough. It would only just go about the same old points and stuff and in the end, time would be wasted. I need a clearer direction.
Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in bed. I don't know if that is of any good. Hopefully, it will help me grow taller. There's nothing much worth waking up to. Thankfully I only have to work tomorrow night and I can have the rest of the time till next Monday evening to myself. I pray that it would be a peaceful night tomorrow.
I wish Mus'art practices can be more efficient and productive. I just found out that for the last practice, the clarinet section made up half the band's attendance. That should be more than enough for anyone to get what I mean. Perhaps everyone needs to be more competent. Being stagnant is very boring. I believe that is an understatement. I was also just thinking about it yesterday, that if I spend four hours travelling to attend less than three hours of inefficient practice, won't it make me plain foolish? I could probably spend 2 solid hours working out my own part and perfecting it at home and save five hours that I can use to do other stuff.
Sectionals today was changed to self practice. I fixed quite a lot of parts and I hope that I will remember all those things from today onwards. A few more things to fix. I hope it that over the next few days I will get conditioned to those stuff and adapt accordingly. Anyway, tickets to the concert are more than sold out. There is a waiting list of at least 90 people. I hope the band is going to impress the whole audience.
Helping people is not as easy as just helping, I found out. Not only must you be willing to help, you must also persuade them to accept your help and nudge them when they seem to be unwilling or unsure. Helping yourself is harder, since nudging oneself seems so much more difficult.
I shall end here for today. I need to clear my mind.
Practice to day was rather fulfilling. I finally know which parts I have to practice more so that I can get all of the notes in place. Three more rehearsals till the concert. I hope there will be some great improvement in the band's playing so that it can be the best performance I have ever put up. It is truly wonderful to be able to put up concerts that are even better each time.
One of the more significant things that took place today was when I was on my way back from duty. One of the duty guys was really nice to give us a lift out to the main road as he was taking a cab. What happened next was the most exciting part. We were at a roundabout, making sort of a U turn to head out towards the main road. There was a driver who was about to enter the roundabout. By right, she should have given way to the cab, but she did not. As a result of that, the taxi driver had to brake suddenly. After which, all of us were critising the driver. (It just happened to be a female driver, not that I have anything against female drivers. Some male drivers are much worse.) The cab then overtook the car and all of us were glaring at her, who refused to show the slightest sign of apology following her mistake. The least she could do was to apologise. Oh well, anyway, I think she had a hard time driving on that stretch of road out. Serve her right for being so stubborn.
I'm so glad that I will be missing in action at work for most of next week. I hope I can find something productive and meaningful to do next week. I certainly do not wish to spend half my time sleeping and half the remainder looking for food and eating. Makes me seem like such a pig.
Thirty-five more days to go! All the best to everyone taking the A levels, Project Work and class tests or any other projects and assignments!
I was real tired last Tuesday. I can't remember the reason for me being that tired that I had to take a nap when I got home. After that, I had to wake up and wipe the walls of my room to prepare it for painting, which took the next two days. Wiping was not as fast nor as simple as I had thought it to be. Probably it will be easy if the wall was wiped every day, but for a wall that has not been wiped for months or maybe even years, it was not an easy job. I only managed to wipe half the room's walls before having to leave home to go for sectionals.
On Wednesday, I finished up the wiping of the walls and started to paint. Painting took quite a lot of time and effort. Not as easy as I had thought it to be either. Even harder when I have not exercised for a long time. My arms were all aching and even placing my palm face down on the chair when I sat down hurt quite a bit. I managed a short break on Wednesday afternoon though, to visit the SPCA. Some of the dogs there were really adorable. There was a Siberian Husky that was a little intimidating though, but it was nice to meet it. Probably if I had spent more time with it and understood it better, it would have been a lot more enjoyable to be close to it.
Thursday was a full day of painting that ended around three in the afternoon, after which, I had my first meal of the day. Band practice in the evening was rather fine, apart from the fact that I need a lot more practice to get my notes in place and correct.
Okay, I seriously cannot remember what I did on Friday. I would likely have slept in till around noon or so and probably took a bus and went out. And now I remember that I wanted to go to Bugis Junction for the soup with pastry covering the bowl of soup. I went there but the food court had shifted to the third level. After walking one round in the new food court, I did not see the stall that used to sell that kind of soup. I was kind of craving for it for the past few days prior to Friday. I might have walked past the shop without noticing or that it decided not to sell that any more. I hope that I can still find that soup somewhere.
Saturday was the best day of the week. Not because it was Hari Raya or anything like that. I thoroughly enjoyed myself on Saturday. So many great things happened. I shall mention one of it only. I met this Golden Retriever called Shadow. He was real cute, and I have always believed that it is not necessary to be small to be cute. He is way larger than other dogs of his age should be and loves to nibble hands. I had a great time walking and running it around before I had to go back home. I wish I could bring it home with me but I don't think it is possible. After reaching home, things were no longer as enjoyable. I had to go back to work, but my whole afternoon was exceptionally wonderful and unforgettable.
Practice on Sunday was not as efficient as I had expected it to be. I wonder how far the band would be able to go if the attendance continues to be just as bad for the rest of the year. I want to improve my playing. I want to start having lessons. I should put my words into action soon.
Yesterday was no fun at all. I was trying to keep awake most of the time and work kept flying towards me though it wasn't much. Today, it was slightly better with the afternoon spent back at home, though I was still struggling to stay awake in the morning. Again, I took a nap so as to be more awake for the evening. I had quite a good evening. I wish that time would pass much slower when there are times like last Saturday afternoon and this evening.
I can't wait to get some quality sleep. I've been real tired sleeping short hours these few days. I was trying to finish reading the last of the Harry Potter series over the past few days. Tomorrow I can finally sleep in, but that is the only consolation I get for being on night duty.
A big thank you to all the people who made Saturday, today and many other days possible!
Sunday I was rather upset and flustered about having lost something and we had to play Pagan Dances as well as Sunken Village to further reinforce the horrible state of mind I was already in. After that, in search of the missing item, I walked from Bukit Merah bus interchange and got lost somewhere near Singapore General Hospital only to see a sign leading to a back gate of the mortuary from the main road. Thankfully no vehicle carrying a corpse went into or out of the building at the time I passed.
Today, just as things were starting to get a little better, someone had to suddenly become insane, setting ridiculous procedures that nobody has a right to object to. I wonder if this is just what life is about. Forever having to listen and obey the so called "person with authority" and just bear with all the nonsense. It is totally crazy if all those things were to be carried out. I know for sure that I will go into silent protest.
Speaking of protest, I am rather amazed at a group of people whom were against the rounding up of peaceful protesters in Myanmar but yet do the same to peaceful protesters somewhere else. Honestly, I do not support nor even have the slightest inclination towards those people whom have been apprehended, but isn't it unacceptable that I tell someone that he will lose all his possessions if he slams the door but yet I slam the door and not allow for my possessions to be taken away?
I have no idea how tomorrow will be like, but I definitely hope that it would be better. It is a real pity that I do not get to enjoy the wonderful weather tonight. It is rare to have a cool night, even more rare to have a cool night with an almost continuous light breeze blowing. I wish I can be at the beach with someone again though being at the beach alone helps a little.
If you do not know what on earth this post is about, do not try to be intelligent and guess. It is meant to be like this. If you get the wrong meaning, then too bad, but if you know exactly what everything in this post is about, you must be me.
Saturday was a wonderfully fun day, despite me being a little sleep deprived. I had a bagel from McDonald's for breakfast before hurrying out of home. Things got a little tricky when I had to get to a place without knowing the exact location of the place. 1 wrong bus led me to Mountbatten road. Lucky for me, I promptly knew that I was going the wrong way and alighted. Upon catching sight of a bus I thought would bring me the right way, I chased it down but it ended up going another way yet again. In the end, I relied on my legs to bring me to my destination. Though it was hard work, there was some fun in it. Lunch followed and I was more inclined to drink rather than to eat. The rest of the afternoon was a real treat. Mooncakes, tea and great company (in random order). After having a lot of pizza for dinner, it was down to Joo Chiat for mid autumn festival celebration. Solving those Chinese riddles were really tough when I am not well versed in Mandarin. After lots of blowing of candles, I went home tired and happy.
Sunday was quite a quiet day other than the fact that someone on the train was really tired or was sick in the mind. I shan't elaborate on what happened. I must learn how to get more of my notes in tune. Sometimes I really cannot stand myself for not being able to adjust enough to play in tune.
Monday was back to duty sleeping hours. Nothing much took place. I happened to run into a junior at Tampines Mall as I was about to leave after getting my own dinner (cup noodles and chocolates) from NTUC who seemed very shocked to see me. And I mean really shocked in the way as though you suddenly realise your parents peeping over your shoulder and reading a sms meant for only your eyes. If only I can bring that kind of horror to everyone. It was difficult to fall asleep on Monday night.
Tuesday, I felt really bad because I did not do anything to deserve being treated so well. I hope that I am given an opportunity to do something in return and that I can do it well. I like being treated well, but I do feel bad when I get treated so well. I hope I did not cause any inconvenience to anyone. In the evening, there was sectionals which ended up to be individuals because only five people turned up, four of us were playing the same part and the other person was paying more attention to fixing his computer. But it was a fruitful self practice where I managed to learn quite a lot of the music.
Today is a day where I did not feel like getting out of bed. Even after I got to work, I went to sleep in the comfort of my chair which does not really give any comfort during night duties. I couldn't even keep my eyes open. It was as though I just walked out of a dark room into the outdoors where the sun is shining with such great intensity that even squinting would pain my eyes. Here is where a good first impression comes into play, helping me to escape any scolding I might get. Anyway, there were loads of work to be done and somehow, I managed to complete everything at hand before lunch (other than the one that slipped my mind). After that, nothing much took place.
I don't know if I should request to drive tomorrow.
