I do not know what I want to be. I feel very confused. It would be my biggest failure to not be able to decide what I want to be and end up being nothing. I don't know if rethinking is good enough. It would only just go about the same old points and stuff and in the end, time would be wasted. I need a clearer direction.

Lately, I have been spending a lot of time in bed. I don't know if that is of any good. Hopefully, it will help me grow taller. There's nothing much worth waking up to. Thankfully I only have to work tomorrow night and I can have the rest of the time till next Monday evening to myself. I pray that it would be a peaceful night tomorrow.

I wish Mus'art practices can be more efficient and productive. I just found out that for the last practice, the clarinet section made up half the band's attendance. That should be more than enough for anyone to get what I mean. Perhaps everyone needs to be more competent. Being stagnant is very boring. I believe that is an understatement. I was also just thinking about it yesterday, that if I spend four hours travelling to attend less than three hours of inefficient practice, won't it make me plain foolish? I could probably spend 2 solid hours working out my own part and perfecting it at home and save five hours that I can use to do other stuff.

Sectionals today was changed to self practice. I fixed quite a lot of parts and I hope that I will remember all those things from today onwards. A few more things to fix. I hope it that over the next few days I will get conditioned to those stuff and adapt accordingly. Anyway, tickets to the concert are more than sold out. There is a waiting list of at least 90 people. I hope the band is going to impress the whole audience.

Helping people is not as easy as just helping, I found out. Not only must you be willing to help, you must also persuade them to accept your help and nudge them when they seem to be unwilling or unsure. Helping yourself is harder, since nudging oneself seems so much more difficult.

I shall end here for today. I need to clear my mind.