I think I should go sleep now. I don't want to miss my sleeping hour and end up awake for the next 30 hours again.

Evening was quite pleasant, but still filled with a certain amount of unpleasantness, such as my memory failing me on at least three occasions. Luckily other than that, nothing else went wrong.

My mind is saturated.

In case I forget, Chenghuat wishes all a happy Chinese New Year. (I can't say anything more creative because my spelling is all screwed up.)

I think I wasted almost a whole morning today. I could have slept in and got even more nightmares instead of stoning and rotting. It was only slightly before 10 am that I did not waste my time for 10 minutes or so. After that, there was nothing other than staring at the small strip of sea that I can catch from the treehouse. Even there, there were ants and spiders crawling everywhere.

I need to either get my bicycle repaired or a new bike. I need some form of transportation that can bring me out of home, to somewhere where I can be free from all the things troubling me. At least a month has passed since my bicycle got spoilt, and all the bicycle shops seem to have so purposefully closed down at just the right time. In addition to that, I seem to have lost the use of my body as well. Almost everything is refusing to work properly.

I did not know if I wanted more or less time, but I think I want less time now, simply because it means less time to suffer. The only way I wish to spend my time on has in a way become such that I am no longer able to spend my time the way I want.

I hear shouts, I hear scoldings, I hear noises down the blocks. I hear screams, I hear cries, I hear everything but your gentle laughter. I see people, I see faces, I see crowds, lots of them. I see anger, I see frustration, I see nothing but the sweek smile of yours. The sun, ever so glaring has withered all the grasses. The dreams, which were so real have sank to the seabed. I don't know how long this will last, but I hope we'll outlast. Outlast the stress and sorrow, that forever preceeds tomorrow. When tomorrow will come, I will never know. It will arrive for sure, which is what I know. Do not glare, just be glad.

I shall now mention about the Mus'Art concert last Saturday. I did feel that we sounded much better in Victoria Concert Hall than in the studio. What I mean is that I felt that we sounded less harsh and not as 'blasty'. There were some pieces where we did sound a whole lot better than during rehearsals, but I think there were quite a few disasters here and there. Some things that happened during the rehearsal are meant to be kept secret. I guess only a few people from my section knows what all this is about. I enjoyed myself thoroughly though I was quite emotionally drained after the whole concert. I think my tone improved slightly but I'm not going to stop there.

Enough about the concert. I shall go on grumbling about something that is really affecting me. I am seriously in need of English lessons, and I do not mean general paper lessons, mind you. I need to learn English again. All thanks to the new language I'm learning now (no offence to that language, and I'm not going to tell you what language I'm learning). Since none of you (other than maybe a fingerful of you) know whatever language it is that I'm learning, I won't need to get laughed at at my poor command of the language. (I better not remind anyone that my English is very bad now.)

That's about all I feel like saying for now. I want more time for everything. I have two instruments that I want to practice, time to do something, time to sleep and time to do something else.