How long more, I do not know, but I don't think that it is for me to decide. Even if I try to have a say in it, I might end up regretting having participated. I wish today never existed, yet tomorrow may soon cease to exist. For a change, it might be better for everything to have remained a constant, stagnant. It may be a good place for mosquitoes to breed, but so will the number of mosquito-eating organisms increase.
After today, it will be close to three more excruciating eons before it might start to get much better. I wonder if all of these are enough to put a definite end to breath.
I am craving for some delicious food once again. I shan't ask for any recommendations because I know I won't get any. Well, nothing comes free in this world.
My phone is sort of getting confused, mixing up one message with another. Perfect reason for getting a new phone but I think I'll resist the temptation and wait till the end of next year before getting a new one, probably with a camera and an internet connection.
I'm running out of ideas. Time to put on my thinking cap.
Anyway, if you have not noticed, this site is undergoing some renovation. Probably there will be more changes after the designer decides what works best here. If you have any suggestions, the tag board is most willing to hear your views.
I will continue to grow.
Taking the mrt on weekends have never been a pleasant experience. The same is starting to be for buses as well. Maybe I should start taking taxis, but then again, there are really some drivers who just would not let you have a moment's peace to enjoy the scenery. They just go on talking from the time you flag the cab till the point you alight. I should start dreaming of owning my own car. Maybe I should sleep more to get more dreams.
Finally a decent work but there is a severe shortage of decent people to give it the credit that it deserves. What a waste. It is like handing a piece of unpolished diamond to a road sweeper. It would only get swept away with the dirt and not get the honour of being treasured and valued.
Everything is in a mess. Absolutely everything. Let me out. Stop the throbbing. How long more is it till the end?
Is burning paper any different from burning cigarettes or burning trees? It is haunting me.
I should start practicing at least one of my instruments beginning next week. I need to start. All my technique is getting lost. Everything is slowly disappearing beyond my reach, beyond my capabilities. It seems as though the more I struggle and not want to let go, the faster I would lose them.
I need a stimulant for my brain. My braincells are dying at an alarming rate! Help me!
I feel very tired. My duties are somehow all lumped together, with a wide break in between the avalanche of duties, making it even more tiring. Imagine a eight-man team being halved to four. On some days, it is effectively having a six-man team being cut down to two, with one person effectively not present. Five days straight of work, followed by a close cluster of duties that mixes up your day and night and mealtimes is definitely devastating to anyone.
Strangely, the last two band practices have been more enjoyable than that of the whole of this year, inclusive of concerts. I still feel that it is not enough yet. I want more. I want to learn and improve and not just play (and listen) the same thing over and over again (for the sake of the same few people).
I yearn for December to come but yet dread the arrival of October and November. How can this ever happen? It is so painful just to feel the days pass one by one and the intensity of stress increasing.
I feel tired. Let me rest.
