Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Just as things began to get better, it had to happen. Today has been a bad day. A day of hunger and disappointment. Everything seems to have been built up for this day to come.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Everything seems to be lost. Maybe not lost, but gone forever.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
It is not working as well as it should be. A change in mindset is needed. The change has to come soon. For quite a lot of times, I wish I were deaf. How nice would it be not to hear any intonation problems nor people arguing and fighting. Or to be a mute and not need to answer any questions asked. Or to be blind and not need to pretend to be blind. Or have all three at once and live in a world of feeling on my own. Ignorance is bliss. I believe that all those people who have some form of mental disability or other are those who can be truly happy for they do not know what is going on. All they need is themselves to be entertained. They do not even feel stupid or bad if someone ever cheats them. They can just be happy all day long, have nothing to worry about and have nothing to fear.
There is something I need. I don't know when I will get it.
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
My neck is sort of sprained. For once I'm not the one causing others to fall ill. I feel that I'm trying too hard. Maybe I should give up and be like the long long past. Probably there wont be any more hardship if I gave up. I want to lock up the doors and throw away the key. It seems like nothing is ever going to be the same again. I am tired of it all. I shall become very nasty and inconsiderate. I shall do only things that benefit me. Stop bothering me. I have had enough.
I need something I can call my very own.
Monday, July 02, 2007
There is no answer. It is worse than ever. Never had it been like this before. Hopes be limited. Throat gets dry. It feels like an end is near. Continue the fight. Beat it flat. But start to think otherwise. The meaning's gone. Time has changed. Doubts loom seductively. A step back. Raise the white. Let it end sweet and short, for the final place will be the same.
Taps run dry. Windows stained red. Is the bucket worth being fed? Awaiting a pat. Anticipating a grab. Wonder why it's never met? No more secrets. Hide no more. Has sharing ever been fair? Time spent. Sacrifices made. Has it be worthwhile? Declining spirits. Failing will. Will the flame be extinguished?
