Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I've amazed myself. I didn't ever think that it is possible to make the ever-so-lazy-for-the-past-19-months chenghuat to do any exercise, much less to exercise three days in a row, doing the most mundane form of exercise. Sorry to those who think that jogging is fun, but yes, I went jogging on both Monday and yesterday. Trust me, jogging isn't all that fun when you haven't been exercising at least once a month for around two years. I could not even go at a steady pace for half the journey I intended to jog and I had to go at such a slow pace towards the end of my run that I believe any brisk walker would have overtook me. Maybe I should go to the gym to train up some stamina before I run outdoors to avoid the shame of being so young but not able to keep up with the old. During the run, it was a pure mind game (with physical limitations). Going slow but not breaking into a walk was incredibly tough. After the run, it's a torture. The weak and aching legs make me feel as though my legs were made of chilli flavoured jelly. Still, I forced myself to run again on Tuesday, going through another round of torture. It's finally a break from running today - I went swimming. Again, it's the first time I swam such a long distance without stopping. All the other times I swam, it was only a few laps of continuous swim followed by resting at the edge for a few minutes. Today, it was non-stop. All I can say is that swimming is a million times easier than jogging (I do not even dare to think of running). For the rest of the week, I would be glad to let my aching body heal and hopefully grow stronger. It's not an excuse to slack, but I'm busy with rehearsals for the upcoming ACS(I) strings concert. I will however still try to get up early to jog on Saturday morning. All the exercise is not just my made-up campaign to get fit or lose weight. I want to train up for the upcoming marathon in December. I wouldn't be doing all these if not for the marathon. Probably, having a goal in mind and setting one's mind to achieve the goal will really help one move towards the goal.
More updates next week.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Time is such an unfathomable phenomenon. It passes constantly yet sometimes it seems to zoom pass like a bullet train and at other times, it seems to crawl by excruciatingly slowly. The future seems unreachable yet the past feels like yesterday. The photos scrolling underneath were taken more than two years ago. That was one of the last times I took so many pictures. I wish I have some of the more recent photos to upload onto here but I haven't been taking any pictures recently as my camera is spoilt. Maybe I will get a new camera at the start of next year if I do not get a handphone with a good camera. I'm still rather in a zonked out state of mind. Hopefully things will get better as the week passes. It's going to be a rather disgusting week ahead though. Practices at the weirdest of times. Monday night and Thursday afternoon and possibly Tuesday night as well.
Okay, I have run out of brain juice. Update another time when I'm free.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Just as suddenly and unexpectedly it came, it went. From past experience, it will probably take some time for the reality to sink in for me to realise the position I'm in. I wonder how it will be like this time. Though after recently, I thought that it would be totally impossible, I should have known all along that it can go any time. Well, after all, life is unpredictable and many do say that it is the reason life is worth living. Many many things have taken place since the last time I seriously wrote a long post about anything. Some may be significant while others may be things I do not wish to remember, some may have meant a lot to me but lost its significance after such a long time. I no longer know how I should go about writing this post nor what it should contain. For such a long time I have been living in a totally different world where there were the extremes of good and bad, happiness and sadness, excitement and disappointment and what not. I wonder if I would be able to adapt back to a normal life. I guess it shouldn't be much of a problem since I am already being as vague as I used to be. I may not even know what I'm referring to five years later when I look back at this post.
Today was quite an enjoyable day on the whole. Many things that did not go right eventually turned out fine and sometimes even better than I expected. Of course there were some things that I thought would be not a problem that became my worst nightmare. (Probably I'll have even worse nightmares in the future, but it's by far my worst.) But I'll say that recent happenings have sort of prepared me to deal with this outcome though I have only the slightest idea of what may come next. I will have to redo my schedule and find something that fits me soon or I'd be wasting my whole life. I'm wondering if things like these would make one stronger or discourage one even more.
Anyway, I feel like doing some sales (selling items) but I do not know what I want to sell yet. I would greatly appreciate if some cool ideas magically appear on the tagboard. I realise that it has been quite dead since a few days after it was last revived.
My brain is tired after not being put to such use since I graduated from JC. It would be pointless for me to write any more tonight. I shall continue another time.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
I feel real dumb. I'll probably have to pay for my stupidity with the rest of my life which already is beginning to feel meaningless. I wish I could just fall into a deep deep sleep and decompose, not leaving a single trace or footprint.
