Probably whoever who said that life is a play and we are merely acting it out is right about saying that because acting is seldom the truth. Everything is made up. Even documentaries are made up unless they were recorded live and not merely a reconstruction. Strangely enough, people are more willing to accept something false as the truth and doubt the truth instead. I suppose learning to lie is one of the skills one must learn to be able to live relatively comfortably in this world.

Maybe it's better to be solitary so there is no need to worry if any of my actions affect anyone negatively. Oh well. I should go sleep so nothing more can take place.

I just need to know more but it is so hard just to find out more without causing unhappiness. Maybe I am no longer as patient as before? I don't know. It is difficult to have the "can't be bothered" attitude in such a situation but is it the only way out? I need much more than a miracle to salvage the whole thing. I wonder if everything were meant to turn out this way and that the events taking place are merely taking its course and I won't be able to do anything about it. I shall try to take a back-seat for now and see how it all turns out.

Despite all these, there were some good things that happened this week. Friday evening was one of the better days. It was not as wonderful as I would have dreamt it to be but it was good enough. Probably I need to exercise more and do more of some things before everything can be as good as dreams get.

I wish somebody would help me. I feel as if I'm struggling yet sinking deeper. I don't know if I should try relaxing and risk either sinking deeper or start floating. But the very thought of sinking deeper is too much for me to take. I need help.

Sometimes I just wonder if I should even do anything. Maybe it might be better if I never existed or things may be better if I were an irresponsible person so that nobody will entrust me with anything. It is so much easier to be a slacker and just put up with the way people call you than to be made to do so many things in exchange for nothing.

It is so difficult to please anyone nowadays. Maybe I should focus my attention on pleasing myself and be happier. Not much more to say already. I shall stop here.

I realise that I like creamy soups more than clear soups. It's a bit random, but it's a good break from the next paragraph.

I think my sister's school has very poor organistation. It is the first ever school I know of that makes their students stay back in school giving last minute notice. Sure, other schools do that as well, but is there any school that does that consistently, averaging two times a week? It is a little too much, even to make a student who reported to school late to stay back in school that very afternoon. Do the teachers ever spare a thought for the student? What if the student came late due to a bus breakdown (which happens ever so often) or a traffic congestion caused by an accident and has tuition lesson straight after school? It can still be considered reasonable if the student had the option to serve this detention on another day, but it is totally ridiculous to force the student to stay back for detention with such short notice.

Anyway, I shall stop here for today.