Upon reflecting how my life has changed since a few years ago, I realise that I have more or less become a person whose existance or presence does not really make a lasting difference. Probably, it just obeys the saying that no one is indespensible. Or it could be just me not used to having so much time to spend alone and not having any goal to head towards. After two years in army, I have lost sight of most of the things I seeked to achieve.

I think I have lost my ability to blog. I just cannot find the right words to express my thoughts. It is either that or that my thoughts have become so much more intense and spontaneous that I am unable to continue with a chain of thought for long. There is just no sustainability.

I'm actally thinking of reconsidering the course I'm going to take in university. I'm not really that interested in accounting. In fact I'm not the sort who will take note of how much money I earn and spend, nor can I be bothered to be so meticulous as to record down every small detail of something. I'm not that organised and no longer as concerned about the things around me as I was before.

I know I have said it probably over ten times that I shall not bother to attempt to make people happy but I feel that there's this thing in me that just want to make a positive difference to the lives of people. And somehow, in the recent months, a lot of what I do and the things that make me happy have to do with making the lives of others better and I enjoy doing that.

I recently came across something written by someone which read "the value of a person is not determined by how much one is paid but how much one is able to give" and "the richest person is not one who has the most but one who needs the least". I find these two quotes rather true. In the materialistic and physical world we live in now, more often that not, we forget about the other important aspects of life that determine how we live, what we do and how we percieve things.

My thoughts are just hurling about in my head now and I am unable to capture any one of those thoughts and put them into words. I'm really tired.