This week, running isn't the torture. It's being tormented that is torturing me. I've realised that Monday evenings are the times I should do whatever it takes to avoid being at home. This week didn't start pleasantly. It is still rather bad so far. I'm just hoping that it does get better and that I'll have an easy time tomorrow night at duty.

Anyway, since last month, I have become an amateur in terms of experience. I used to be able to help people out with some valuable experience but now, I'm afraid it's me who lack the experience and I find myself totally helpless and unable to help in any way when asked to. It's not that I'm reluctant to help. I want to but am unable to.

Anyway, I don't know what on earth has been going on for the past two weeks. Huge, massive changes to so many things so suddenly. Yes, I know that I'm of no importance and no one need consult me before those changes are implemented. Even if I'm asked, whether or not I agree or disagree, the result would still be the same. It feels like "talking to the hand" kind of thing.

I wish I can fall back to some time around two years ago and stay there.