I had just thought that I have had enough of surprises and not to try to surprise anyone anymore, but I was surprised again. Why is it that the I am always going against the whole world? I guess I'll be the perpetual oddball rolling when I'm supposed to bounce, bouncing when I'm supposed to roll
, deflating when I'm in use and following a random path rather than a trajectory. I don't think any amount of effort can make me more like the others. I am just the way I am and nothing can make me less weird. I have no option but to move against the current which is pushing me against a sharp rock wall that will never be eroded. How long more, I do not know, but I don't think that it is for me to decide. Even if I try to have a say in it, I might end up regretting having participated. I wish today never existed, yet tomorrow may soon cease to exist. For a change, it might be better for everything to have remained a constant, stagnant. It may be a good place for mosquitoes to breed, but so will the number of mosquito-eating organisms increase.
After today, it will be close to three more excruciating eons before it might start to get much better. I wonder if all of these are enough to put a definite end to breath.
