My memory is very bad. I cannot even recall what I did two months ago. I happened to have the urge to take a look at what happened then but the details I could find don't seem to be able to help me recall the things that happened then. So much has happened since then. I don't quite remember the in-betweens but as of now, I'm willing to let those memories just evaporate. Maybe there'll be better days ahead that are worth much more to remember. Maybe it'll be something I regret not being able to recall.

I thought that extremes were bad but I've found out that being neither here nor there is far worse because the worst of the extremes are all present in the middle but yet, the best of the extremes are only in its mildest form. It's like a little of the best of both worlds and a huge lot of the worst of both worlds. Sounds totally insane! I wonder if there is a position that gives a little of the worst of both extremes and a huge lot of the best of the extremes. If economics is true, then I that would only happen in my dreams because economics is based on the assumption of scarcity. If someone has more benefits, another would lose out. However, it seems that in the real world, there are millions of transactions where mutual benefit is attainable, even though there are some where only one party gains. It's getting too complicated a discussion. There are so many things in this world that are unexplainable by logic and by science. Perhaps many years down the road, there will be new branches in science that are able to provide logical and scientific answers to these things. (This is based on the assumption that all scientific answers are proven and widely accepted to be facts.)

I am in awe at how I can link nothing to something and write a whole load of crap on nothing when I can hardly discuss about something when I have to. Somehow I find it a lot easier to express my thoughts using the written word than the verbal word and when I'm in idle mode as compared to under external propulsion (unless lots of hints are given to show me the direction I'm supposed to be heading towards or I'm guided patiently and pulled back on track through the process).

Now, I'm beginning to wonder if there is a law of reciprocation. I don't remember hearing of its existence but I've heard of other terms that suggests it like retribution, karma, the law with crime, et cetera. If such a thing exists inherently, why does its effect not be felt and seen immediately? Why doesn't a negative or positive action reciprocate immediately but take days, months and in some versions, even lifetimes to? And does human nature expect reciprocation - good for good and evil for evil? I am dumbfounded why people who believe in the law of reciprocation (in any form) only expect kindness and good deeds to be returned but do not even think that the bad deeds they have done would bestow unto them until they start questioning their bad luck. Wherever those answers lie in, I have totally no clue. I'd be awfully grateful if I can have the answers to all of the questions I have, including those in my brain bothering me right now. I don't think there will be any answer to all of these questions because the only true answer lies within me - I will not be convinced that any answer is true if I don't believe in it. How ironic.

The mind is easily deceived. Just come up with some complicated stuff and the mind automatically accepts it as correct; come up with anything simple and the mind would complicate it. Some people who understand this are able to make use of it to make heaps of money. They make something simple which may not necessarily be true complicated to convince the mind that it is true and from there, you would buy into their idea, making them rich. In some cases, this may be the case. But in others, the person who comes up with all the complicaed explanation and analysis benefit a third party (probably more like the job of an advertiser).

I think that's enough for today. Retail, food and writing. That's probably enough terrapins for today.